


Far Flung Hopes and Impossible Dreams

by GallifreyisBurning



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Wolf Rose Tyler, Dimension-Hopping Rose, F/M, Fix-It, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-08-21 10:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyisBurning/pseuds/GallifreyisBurning
Summary: A dimension-hopping Rose runs into a bow-tie wearing Doctor after he drops the Ponds off at their home after their latest adventure. Her elation to see him quickly turns to confusion, however, as he explains that she's found him too late in his timeline. If they've already saved the world, why isn't she with him? After all, she crossed universes to spend her forever with him - and with the Bad Wolf in play, that forever may be literal.When the Doctor realizes the mistake he made at Bad Wolf Bay, he promises Rose that he will do everything in his power to make it right. Will he be able to bring her back home from the other universe? And after being sent away yet again, will she even want him to?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In the words of River, spoilers! In the tags, anyway. I wanted to play around with a reunion fic that didn't pit any of the Doctor's companions against each other, and then this little journey got started in my head. I've got the whole thing outlined, and expect it to be probably 3-4 chapters when all's said and done. This story takes place vaguely in the time after Dinosaurs in Space and is canon-divergent from there. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

There was a flash of light and a sound like a Tesla coil. Rose Tyler hit the ground crouching; feet braced, a large weapon slung across her blue leather-clad chest, her blonde hair falling forward into her face. She straightened and did a rapid assessment of her surroundings. She was on what appeared to be a fairly normal 21st century London street, outside a row of townhomes. She did a quick 360 and let out a huff of shocked breath. Behind her, clear as day, was the TARDIS.

“Hello,” she murmured, a grin stretching her face. Swinging her weapon around to rest across her back and pushing her hair out of her eyes, she stepped toward the beautiful blue box, her hand outstretched. All awareness of her surroundings had zoomed in to this one thing; this gorgeous wooden structure that held all of her hopes and dreams. It looked different, somehow. A brighter blue. In some corner of her mind, Rose hoped that she wasn’t too early; that she wasn’t finding a Doctor who wouldn’t know her yet and wouldn’t know to trust her. The majority of her focus, however, was on her fingertips gently stroking the ship’s exterior, basking in the warm hum of the sentient ship returning her greeting. “Oh, I missed you, girl,” Rose breathed, pressing her hand flat to the ship’s side.

Behind her, a door closed on a chorus of “bye for now” and “don’t be a stranger!”s. Rose ignored it, absorbed in her reunion with her ancient friend. That is, she ignored it until a voice suddenly sounded, much closer to her and sounding extremely annoyed.

“Oi!” it shouted. “Hands off my ship!” The accent was unfamiliar, but the tone was unmistakable. Rose’s heart leaped as she whipped around to see a tall, gangly man in a tweed jacket, a burgundy bow tie, and too-short trousers striding toward her purposefully. As his eyes found her face, however, he came to an abrupt halt, face slackening in shock. “...Rose?” he whispered.

Rose’s grin grew wide enough to split her face. Even in this new body, she knew him. She would always know him. Slipping the gun from her back so that it wouldn’t encumber her and letting it clatter to the pavement, Rose quickly closing the few meters left separating them and threw herself into the Doctor’s embrace. His thin, strong arms closed automatically around her, clasping her to him tightly enough to hurt. She didn’t mind in the slightest, clinging to him just at hard. “Rose,” he gasped again, rocking her, burying his face in her hair. “Oh, my Rose.”

Rose grinned into his chest at the possessive used in conjunction with her name. “My Doctor,” she answered, feeling happy tears beginning to coalesce in the corners of her eyes. “I’m home,” she told him, sniffling, “I made it back to you.” Pulling back from their embrace slightly, she wrapped one hand behind his neck and tugged him down toward her, raising up on her toes to help close the distance between their faces. Following the guidance of her warm palm, the Doctor leaned down to meet her, their lips finally joining in a hard, desperate kiss. The Doctor’s hands released from her torso to twine into her hair, pulling her closer to him. Her lips parted beneath his and his tongue eagerly darted forward to meet hers. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This wasn’t possible. He knew this wasn’t possible. But it was Rose — his wonderful, brilliant Rose — and he hadn’t seen her in centuries, and he just couldn’t bring himself to care what was possible right now. He moaned into her mouth as their tongues twined, and then pulled back, only to surge forward to meet her again. He was kissing Rose Tyler, and he couldn’t get enough. Every atom of his body screamed for them to be closer, to never be parted from her, for more, more, more. Finally, with a groan, he disconnected their mouths with a last, lingering kiss and rested his forehead against hers. He knew he couldn’t delay the inevitable.

“Rose,” he breathed. “Why are you here? How are you here?” 

Rose breathed out through her nose. “The how is… sort of complicated,” she demurred. “But as for the why…” she looked up, meeting his eyes. A shadow lingered behind her brilliant whiskey irises, and the Doctor noticed that she looked tired; very, very tired. “Doctor, the stars are going out.”

The Doctor jerked back from her in shock. His eyes travelled up and down her body, taking in details that he hadn’t at first absorbed in their desperate reunion. Her outfit. Her stupid, stupid outfit. It was burned into his memory, that outfit. Blue leather jacket, pink shirt, black trousers. The last thing he’d ever seen her in. His face went blank and he closed his eyes against the pain of realization, trying desperately to shield her from the despair that had suddenly washed over him, drowning out his momentary elation. Of course. He should have known right away. He opened his eyes again and met hers, which were now full of confusion and concern. 

“Doctor?” she asked hesitantly. 

“Oh Rose, I’m sorry,” the Doctor told her, his voice sad, “but your journey isn’t quite over yet.” He gave her a sympathetic half smile, burying his own pain, trying to reassure her. He pushed open the door to the TARDIS quietly. “I think you had better come in.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Doctor leaned against the console and watched Rose as she walked slowly around the room, running her fingers over the TARDIS’s walls. “She looks so… different,” she finally said.

“Good different, or bad different?” the Doctor asked with a slight smile. Rose looked over her shoulder at him and returned his smile. 

“Just different,” she responded, as she always had; as she always would. “I didn’t know she could change like this.”

“Yes, well,” the Doctor said, shifting uncomfortably. “Had a bit of a rough regeneration; the old girl took the brunt of it I’m afraid. While she was fixing herself up, she thought she’d try something new.” Rose bit her lip and nodded. They lapsed into silence. The Doctor could feel time ticking by, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the disappointing truth. Or more truthfully, perhaps, he couldn’t bring himself to give her the information she needed to leave him alone again. 

“Doctor, what did you mean, my journey’s not over?” Rose finally asked, taking the decision away from him. The Doctor sighed.

“I’m afraid you got the timing of your jump a bit wrong,” he confessed, eyes downcast. “I’ve done this bit already.”

“You’ve done… you mean, I found you?” 

The Doctor nodded, still not meeting her eyes. 

“And we did it? We stopped the stars going out? I mean we must’ve done, you’re here, so we must’ve…” 

The Doctor nodded again. Rose tilted her head to the side. 

“I don’t understand,” she admitted. “If I already made it back, and we already saved the world, why were you so surprised to see me? Why…” she trailed off, and then started over. “Doctor, if I made it back, where am I?”

The Doctor finally raised his eyes to hers, and they were full of pain.

“That was a very long time ago, Rose Tyler,” he said softly. “It’s been over 200 years for me since you first told me that the stars were going out.”

Rose narrowed her eyes at him, perplexed. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Now it was the Doctor’s turn to be confused. “‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ Two HUNDRED YEARS, Rose.”

“Yeah, and? ‘S not like I’m aging, so what’s time got to do with anything? Unless… did we… did we fall out, or something? Did you leave me behind?” her eyes grew worried and she bit her lip, obviously distressed. “I worked so hard to come back, I can’t imagine I’d have left you, so you must have left me. Did I… was it the regeneration? Did this you not want me?” The look on her face was heartbreaking. The look on the Doctor’s face was pure shock. There was so much wrong with what she had just said, but he focused in on what felt like the most salient point.

“What do you mean ‘not aging’?” 

“What… Doctor, you must know this. If I made it back, you must know this!”

“Know what? Rose, what happened to you?”

“Bad Wolf, Doctor! I must have told you! It was part of why I knew I had to get back to you; I promised you forever, and now I have it! Why would you not know that?” Her voice was rising; her tone increasingly desperate. The Doctor looked at her with wide, despairing eyes as realization crashed around him. Rose covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh god, Doctor,” she whispered. “What did you do?”

Wordlessly, the Doctor went to her and wrapped her once again in his arms. Rose, her body stiff, clenched her fists against his chest. “You didn’t ask, did you?” she accused, her voice tearful. “You made some stupid, self sacrificing decision that you told yourself was for my own good, and you didn’t ask. Again. Didn’t you?”

“I made a mistake, Rose,” he told her. “A terrible, terrible mistake. And I’m so very, very sorry.” Squeezing her tight, he breathed in the scent of her hair, not allowing himself to pull back and see the betrayal in her face. “But I’m going to fix it,” he continued, his voice determined. “Now that I know, I swear to you, I’m going to fix it. I will find a way to get you back. Do you believe me?” There was a pause, and then he felt Rose nod against his chest. “Good,” he sighed, kissing the top of her head and releasing her. Rose stepped back and wiped tears from her face, trying to pull herself together. The emotional rollercoaster of the past hour, in conjunction with the tension of the dimension cannon project, had her very near her breaking point. The Doctor could tell, but he forced himself to ignore it, knowing what had to happen now.

“It’s time for you to go, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor told her in a faux cheerful voice as he spun away from her and toward the console. “I’ve got loads of work to do, and you’ve got a universe to save. Several, in fact. But I promise you, I will see you again very, very soon.” He met her eyes, wordlessly begging her to believe him; to trust in him so that he could trust in himself.

Rose hesitated, but then nodded and gave a half smile to the man whose false bravery she could see right through, just as she’d always been about to. “Not if I see you first,” she told him before pressing a button on her wrist. In a flash of light, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on this update, and for the short update! I'm working on this one as time permits. I've got the whole thing plotted out, but I'm having trouble getting it into actual words! Thanks for bearing with me, and your feedback is always appreciated!

They stood on a beach in Norway, a beach she’d sworn to herself that she’d never set foot on again. Everything was falling apart, and Rose was having trouble making herself understand what was happening. 

“No, but I spent all that time trying to find you,” she objected as she realized the Doctor’s plan. “I'm not going back now.”

“But you've got to,” the Doctor replied, his face full of some emotion she couldn’t quite pin down. “Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own.”

“You made me!” the new Doctor spat back incredulously.

“Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge.” He turned to Rose. “Remind you of someone? That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him.”

Rose was dumbstruck. The pieces were beginning to fall into place. Why the other Doctor hasn’t seen her in so long. What his choice had been. “But he's not you,” she protested weakly. 

“He needs you. That's very me.” The pain was now clear in the Doctor’s face, although he was obviously trying to tamp it down.

“But it's better than that, though,” Donna broke in. “Don't you see what he's trying to give you?” She turned toward the blue-suited Doctor. “Tell her. Go on.”

The new Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets. “I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart.” His face was hesitant and hopeful. She could read his nervousness through his carefully schooled features.

“Which means?” Rose asked, her thoughts whirling.

“I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you,” he gave a noncommittal shrug, as though this meant nothing to him, although his tone gave him away, “if you want.”

And suddenly, there it was. The puzzle was complete. This new Doctor, this metacrisis, born of carelessness or fate or accident, was about to be abandoned in an unfamiliar universe by a man who couldn’t accept the darkness within himself; a man who could so neatly wrap things up for himself if he was just allowed to believe that the woman who had crossed universes for the love of him was being given everything she’d ever wanted. If she told the truth now, Rose could stop their separation from happening — but then what would happen to this other Doctor, doomed to a human lifespan, separated from everything he knew of himself? 

Rose made a decision in a split second ( _but is it really a decision when I know his future?_ she pondered), and chose her next words carefully, despite being unable to keep from stuttering over the lie. She hoped her stammer would be attributed to emotions running high. “You'll grow old at the same time as me?” 

“Together,” the new man assured her, his dark eyes holding hers. 

“We've got to go,” the original Doctor interrupted them. “This reality is sealing itself off forever.” 

Rose couldn’t stop the words, even though her choice had been made. “But, it's still not right, because the Doctor's still you.” 

“And I'm him,” the Doctor assured her. 

“All right,” Rose challenged. “Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?” He looked on, silent. “Go on, say it!”

“I said, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor replied, face apologetic.

“Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?” she pushed. 

“Does it need saying?” the Doctor hedged. _Oh, you coward,_ Rose thought, her heart breaking. 

“And you, Doctor?” she continued, turning to the other man. “What was the end of that sentence?”

Even as he whispered his love for her in her ear, and even as she pulled him down for a kiss that had been so long in coming, she thought to herself, _He knew. They planned this._

Her Doctor. Always making decisions for her. Always thinking he (they) knew best. She could stop this. She could still stop this from happening. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t risk changing the reality she’d already lived (if she told him now, he wouldn’t leave her here; if he didn’t leave her here, her encounter with his next self would never have happened; if the encounter hadn’t happened, she wouldn’t have known to tell him the truth to stop him from leaving her here… the cycle of it hurt her head). Mostly, she wouldn’t leave this other Doctor here alone. And so, the Doctor had doomed himself to 200 years without her, and had doomed her to the fate he’d so feared for himself: she would now watch him grow old and die while she stayed forever the same. 

You idiot, Rose thought at both men as she heard the TARDIS dematerializing. She turned and watched, and the new Doctor took her hand, looking on with resignation as the man he used to be disappeared into another universe. Rose took a deep breath and squeezed his hand, bracing herself. If she’d learned anything from the pitfalls of her relationship with the Doctor, it was that hiding the truth only ever caused more pain in the long run, no matter how well intentioned. Better to get this out in the open now than to hide it until he noticed on his own.

“Doctor, I have to tell you something.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out, and the Doctor and Rose reckon with the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks! Another late update, but hopefully worth it? I'm still posting as I write, so the timing is wonky. Maybe I'll try to finish my next piece before I start posting so that people don't have to worry about how long it will be between updates! Thanks so much for your comments so far, I GREATLY appreciate any and all feedback!

Chapter 3

Rose kept the metacrisis Doctor ( _The Doctor,_ she told herself, _Just the Doctor, now_ ) waiting until they got to the hotel in Bergen where they would be spending the night before Pete could get a zeppelin out to collect them. He tried to get her to talk to him in the cab they had secured to get themselves and Jackie there, apologizing with pleading eyes, but she pressed her lips together and grasped his hand more firmly.

“It’ll be better to do this in private,” she told him, staring straight ahead. From the front seat, Jackie snorted, and the Doctor grimaced in acknowledgement. “Besides, we’re probably going to need a drink.”

“Rose, Time Lords don’t get drunk,” he responded automatically before freezing, realizing what he’d just said. “Wow, that’s weird,” he pondered aloud, “I actually have no idea if I can get drunk now.”

“Guess we’ll find out,” Rose sighed. “If not, we can always order you something with ginger. Should sort you out.” The Doctor squeezed her hand in answer and the pair lapsed into silence, unable to make small talk when they knew that confessions and apologies needed to be made, possibly on both sides.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As soon as the door closed behind them in their hotel suite, the Doctor burst out an apology.

“Rose, I’m so, so sorry. I know that this…” he stopped abruptly as Rose held up a hand to silence him. 

“Fingers on lips,” she told him with a hint of a sad smile. The Doctor gulped and nodded, sinking down to sit at the foot of one of the two queen beds, hands grasping the edge of the mattress. His air was of someone who knew that they were about to get a tongue lashing, and also knew that they deserved it. Rose cringed internally at how different this conversation was going to be from the one he thought he was going to be having. 

She had grabbed a bottle of scotch from the hotel bar ( _Thank god for a rich father and a room tab,_ she’d thought morosely as the bartender handed the bottle over with only a slight raise of the eyebrow) and she turned her back on the Doctor as she busied herself screwing the top open and dumping a couple fingers-worth into two glass tumblers she found on the bureau that were probably intended for water. Turning back to him, she held a glass out until he reached up and took hold of it, and then clinked the rim of hers against his. 

“Bottoms up,” she instructed before downing her drink in two large gulps. The Doctor obediently followed suit, grimacing as the smoky liquid burned down his throat. Rose refilled both of their glasses immediately, but didn’t encourage him to chug the second pour. Instead, she stared down at her interlaced fingers for a moment, pondering where to begin, before looking up. 

As much as she feared his reaction, she forced herself to meet the man’s eyes, needing to make sure he absorbed everything she was saying. “Doctor, I’m going to tell you something, and you’re REALLY not going to like it. But before you get mad at me, or yourself, I need you to understand something: I chose this. I had all of the information, and I made a choice, and this is what I want. You can be as mad as you want to be, but it won’t change anything. You’ve made a lot of choices for me over the years. Right now, you think that you made this one, too, but you didn’t. I need you to understand that. Okay?”

The Doctor looked like her wanted to say something, but he clamped his mouth shut and nodded his assent, sipping at his scotch in an effort to keep himself quiet. 

Rose took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling, before letting it out slowly and meeting his gaze once more. “I lied to you on the beach,” she said, “about us growing old together.”

The Doctor’s head dropped in defeat, and he set the glass down on the floor by his feet. “I understand,” he said quietly, his voice full of sorrow. “I…” but Rose interrupted him again. 

“No, Doctor, that’s not what I…” she grimaced and tried again. “I’m not leaving you,” she said firmly. “Not ever.” 

The Doctor’s head shot back up at that, his expression disbelieving but hopeful. “Rose…” he began cautiously. She shook her head at him and he quieted.

“I’m not gonna leave you,” she repeated, “but I can’t grow old with you. I can’t grow old at all.”

The Doctor’s brows pulled together as he tried to process what he was hearing. “Rose, what are you trying to say? I don’t understand.”

She took another gulp of her drink, bracing herself. “I’m not aging, Doctor. When I became the Bad Wolf, I saw everything that could be, and I had the power to change it. So… apparently, I did.” The Doctor’s mouth gaped as she continued. “I wanted to be with you forever, so I…” she gestured helplessly. “At least I assume it was intentional. Coulda just been a side effect of absorbing the Time Vortex. I’ve only remembered bits and pieces of it. We figured it out by accident, through some standard health screenings at Torchwood before I was cleared for field work. I can still die, we think, but I probably won’t. Not for a very long time.”

The Doctor’s eyes were wide with shock and horror and he leapt to his feet. “Rose, how could this… why didn’t you… this isn’t...” he babbled, beginning to pace in front of her. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have…”

“Wouldn’t have WHAT, Doctor? Left me here without asking what I wanted?” Rose interjected fiercely. The Doctor stopped and looked at her helplessly. Rose sighed. “I told you, it’s more complicated than you think. Can you please just sit down and let me finish?” The Doctor scrubbed his hands down his face, but sat down again with a sigh.

“How much worse is this going to get?” he asked despondently, not looking at her.

“You really know how to flatter a girl, Doctor,” Rose replied bitterly. “Just hear me out. And maybe finish your drink” The Doctor grimaced and nodded, retrieving his tumbler and taking a long swallow before settling his hands in his lap. “While I was dimension jumping, I had a few near misses. Didn’t get the timing quite right. On one of those, I ran into… you. Well, the other you. The Time Lord you. A… a future you.” Comprehension began to dawn on the Doctor’s face, but Rose rushed on before he could interject. “It had been hundreds of years for him since he’d seen me, and he didn’t realize the timeline were off. When we sorted that out, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t still with him, and then I found out he didn’t know I was more or less immortal and, well, he admitted that he’d done something stupid.” The Doctor’s lips pulled together in a pained line. “So I knew we were gonna get separated again, but I couldn’t understand how, if I knew that, I would let that happen.”

Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “It all started to come together on the beach. I realized this was the ‘when’, but I couldn’t quite sort out the ‘why.’ Why wouldn’t I have just told him about me and make him take us both back? I knew I hadn’t, but I couldn’t sort out WHY. But then you said how you were part human now and I thought…” It was Rose’s turn to trail off. 

“What did you think, Rose?” the Doctor asked softly, his voice quiet and resigned. 

“I thought how hard that would be for you, to travel with yourself and know that he was everything you used to be. And I thought about what Donna said, and about how this was our chance for a normal life together. And I thought… I thought that we deserved that chance.” She replaced her glass on the bureau and sat down next to him on the bed, her thigh brushing his. Hesitantly, she reached for his hand, and breathed a sigh of relief when he would his fingers through hers and squeezed tightly, though he was still not looking at her. 

“There was another thing your future self said,” she continued hesitantly, stroking his thumb with hers and bringing her other hand around to clasp their joined fists. “Once he knew what had happened to me, he told me he’d find a way to get me back. Not right away,” she rushed, as the Doctor’s hand clenched, “but eventually.” Gently she moved one hand to tilt his face up toward her, forcing him to meet her gaze. His eyes were pained and glistening with unshed tears. “Doctor, I chose this.” Rose said softly. “I want a chance to have this life with you. I’ll go back when I need to, but for now, this is what I want. Do you believe me?” The Doctor shut his eyes and nodded, a tear trailing down his cheek. “Good,” Rose whispered. She removed the glass from his hand and settled it back on the floor. Then she sat up, cupped his face in her hands, and brought her lips softly to his. 

He responded hesitantly at first, just a short press of lips before leaning his forehead against hers. Then his hands came up to tangle in her hair and he pulled her back to him, his kiss more insistent this time, radiating helplessness and desperation. For several moments, they poured their emotions into each other without words, expressing fear, passion, regret, relief, and disbelief through bruising lips, battling tongues, and nipping teeth. 

“Rose,” he murmured brokenly against her as be broke the kiss, the tears that now streaked his face leaving salty traces on her lips. “I missed you so much,” he choked, pulling back and burying his face in her hair. “This is all so… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do.”

“Shhh,” she hushed him, holding him tightly to her. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’ve got you.” Without releasing her hold on him, she shifted them carefully further back on the bed, until they rested against the pillows. There they stayed, quietly entwined, until they eventually lapsed into an exhausted sleep.


End file.
